Textual Healing
I love text messaging. If I could have a device that was only good for typing words to my friends and family, I'd snap that sumbitch up in a heartbeat. Screw voices and volume and sound and tone and all of that crap - I just wanna type.
I've always been a bit of a wacko when it comes to phone calls. Even back in high school, I had certain friends who I would have considered my BEST friends who I never talked to on the phone, because I was too nervous to call their house and have their dad or brother answer. Why? Who knows. I especially hate calling people whom I've NEVER talked to on the phone, because I don't know what to expect - are they full of pregnant pauses and awkward silences? Will they talk a mile a minute and never let me get a word in edge wise? Will I catch them at a bad time and sense the annoyance in their voice? I hate it, man! Stuff like that actually brings out the loose stool in my innards. No lie.
I love being able to shoot random one liners out to folks as well. Nothing makes me happier than being able to share the play by play of a bowel movement with my friends and family, via a two sentence message sent through the Verizon Wireless airwaves.
The manfriend and I love to text, too. I've always been annoyed with couples who call each other a minimum of 15 fucking times a day, just to check in or talk about something completely unnecessary. Get bent! Instead of doing that whole "what are you doing/nothing/what are you doing/nothing" exchange, we can zip each other a simple message like, "No time for a shower this morning. Lots of wet wipes. I'm disgusto magnifico." Or, "My farts....wow! Wish u were here!" I mean, why sandwich the good lines between all of that other conversation filler gunk? Might as well get straight to the point, even if the point is farts and wet wipes.
I wonder what's next. Technology is always one upping itself, so there's bound to be something far more spectacular than words on little screens making it's debut before too long. Scent messaging? I hope not. I'd disconnect my service and hook up a land line faster than you can say overage charges. Maybe someone will finally invent a cell phone that comes with a remote. I'd lock that sucker on vibrate and call myself until my minutes ran out if I had something like that. Hells yeah. Don't pretend you wouldn't turn your Motorola Razr in for a fine piece of machinery like that.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go tickle my keypad. Emmitt Smith just won Dancing With the Stars, and I need to blow up some phones.
I've always been a bit of a wacko when it comes to phone calls. Even back in high school, I had certain friends who I would have considered my BEST friends who I never talked to on the phone, because I was too nervous to call their house and have their dad or brother answer. Why? Who knows. I especially hate calling people whom I've NEVER talked to on the phone, because I don't know what to expect - are they full of pregnant pauses and awkward silences? Will they talk a mile a minute and never let me get a word in edge wise? Will I catch them at a bad time and sense the annoyance in their voice? I hate it, man! Stuff like that actually brings out the loose stool in my innards. No lie.
I love being able to shoot random one liners out to folks as well. Nothing makes me happier than being able to share the play by play of a bowel movement with my friends and family, via a two sentence message sent through the Verizon Wireless airwaves.
The manfriend and I love to text, too. I've always been annoyed with couples who call each other a minimum of 15 fucking times a day, just to check in or talk about something completely unnecessary. Get bent! Instead of doing that whole "what are you doing/nothing/what are you doing/nothing" exchange, we can zip each other a simple message like, "No time for a shower this morning. Lots of wet wipes. I'm disgusto magnifico." Or, "My farts....wow! Wish u were here!" I mean, why sandwich the good lines between all of that other conversation filler gunk? Might as well get straight to the point, even if the point is farts and wet wipes.
I wonder what's next. Technology is always one upping itself, so there's bound to be something far more spectacular than words on little screens making it's debut before too long. Scent messaging? I hope not. I'd disconnect my service and hook up a land line faster than you can say overage charges. Maybe someone will finally invent a cell phone that comes with a remote. I'd lock that sucker on vibrate and call myself until my minutes ran out if I had something like that. Hells yeah. Don't pretend you wouldn't turn your Motorola Razr in for a fine piece of machinery like that.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go tickle my keypad. Emmitt Smith just won Dancing With the Stars, and I need to blow up some phones.
7 Comments:
I'm opposite--i hate text messaging. Just pick up the phone and call.
I had texting turned off of my phone. Not that it has ANYTHING to do with my psycho ex boyfriend...
He did??!! I'm watching "Office Space".
How was the bald eagle? did you freak out?
question: do you let texting get to the point that it's rude to other people that are around you?
i hate talking on the phone too. weird since that's what i do FOR A LIVING! but if i'm not at work, i only answer or dial the phone if it's absolutley necessary (and how often is that, really?).
if you get t-mobile, you can get a sidekick (nice full qwerty keyboard) and get a plan that is ONLY for internet & text, no voice included. there's even one with voice BARRED so you can't use it as a phone.
Um...I am a texting virgin. I think I have that option on my phone but I don't know how to use it or am even sure it is turned on. I don't really have anybody to text either. I just email. I hate phone calling and just discovered caller ID for my phone which ROCKS ASS! Avoiding people was never so easy.
Another talking-on-the-phone hater, here. Hundreds of text messages between me and one other person every month is definitely better than countless wasted minutes. If I can find another way to communicate without having to call, especially for the first time, then I will.
HAHA - I bet y'all thought that Anon was me, but no - I call Spoon out on that shit all the fucking time! I'm pretty sure she's either going through withdrawls right now because she's right next to the woman and it would seem really stupid to text her, but nah - I'm sure they're side by side on the couch, texting away! I would text if I were that savvy, but I'm just not that quick!
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