Heard
Me: "Fuck. My thumb STILL smells like an onion, and I haven't touched one since Sunday."
Mom: "Rub them on some stainless steel. That'll take the scent away."
Me: "Right. How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Go to Sears and rub on some of their appliances? I don't have stainless steel just LAYING around."
Mom: "Fine, bitch, then stick it in some vinegar. You've got vinegar. And, when you're done, you can douche with your thumb. Stick it right in there and DOUCHE YOURSELF."
Honestly. I'm ready for the camera crew to show up ANY day. Reality television doesn't have SHIT on my old lady. Good fucking grief.
Mom: "Rub them on some stainless steel. That'll take the scent away."
Me: "Right. How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Go to Sears and rub on some of their appliances? I don't have stainless steel just LAYING around."
Mom: "Fine, bitch, then stick it in some vinegar. You've got vinegar. And, when you're done, you can douche with your thumb. Stick it right in there and DOUCHE YOURSELF."
Honestly. I'm ready for the camera crew to show up ANY day. Reality television doesn't have SHIT on my old lady. Good fucking grief.
posted by Snap at 5:35 PM
7 Comments:
ha!! I want to meet your mom.
p.s. you probably have a SS spoon somewheres.
miss you!!
Seriously--next meetup is at your mom's house. I want to hang with her.
World Market--and probably Williams Sonoma sell stainless steel "soap" bars. Perhaps santa will bring you one.
It is possible that your mom might be too 'real' for reality TV.
i'd totally watch your reality show... i'm thinking it will have to be on hbo or showtime so we can hear all the "colorful" language. i doubt it would be the same with bleeps.
I think it's time to start filming and just put on youtube;>
I'd like to see your Mom and Flavor Flav battle it out. Kind of a cross between Flavor of Love and Survivor. That I would watch.
Jason
I would watch that shit, mostly because I know the douching would be partially bluured.
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